Preparing Your Teen for Uni: The Things No One Teaches
By Philippa Dobrée-Carey
The summer before university is a rollercoaster ride for your teenager. First, they’ll be excited and nervous waiting for exam results. Then they’ll be unbearable getting ready for departure, thinking they know it all with surprising certainty (spoiler alert: hang tight and wait for the anxious phone calls!). Meanwhile you’re oscillating somewhere between pride and panic.
You’ve covered the basics – a monthly budget, laundry lessons, and coached them on basic survival cooking so they won’t starve or blow their budget on takeaways.
But university life throws up all sorts of challenges, and even the most confident teens get caught off guard.
Here are a few smart ‘life skills’ and simple fixes to pass on before they head off.
1. Talking to Adults like a Grown-Up
Your child may be able to text more than just “OK” (or worse: ‘K’, grr!) but can they make an appointment, ask for help, or hold a proper conversation with a professor?
Quick fix: Challenge them to order food over the phone, ask a shop assistant for help, or book an appointment with the Doctor / Dentist / Hairdresser.
This practice will stand them in good stead for when they need it on campus, such as asking for an assignment extension, or seeking medical help for Freshers Flu.
2. The ‘What If’ Scenarios if they Lose their Phone, Keys, or Wallet
At some point, they will lose or have stolen their phone/keys/wallet, miss their train home, get sick, or miss a deadline. Talk through potential scenarios so they know what to do.
Quick fix:
• Set up emergency contacts and install a “Find My Phone” app.
• Keep digital copies of their ID and student card.
• Devise a strategy to access their accommodation if their keys go missing.
Ask them “What would you do if…” and throw them a few unexpected scenarios to test their problem-solving skills.
3. Public Transport and Personal Safety
Navigating a new public transport system is a life skill. Students might assume other places operate the same way public transport operates in Switzerland – on time, reasonable cost, safe, etc. However, in other countries, delays, overcrowding, and cancellations can turn travel into a real challenge.
Quick fix:
• Keep valuables secure and out of sight
• Be alert and stick to well-lit areas when traveling alone. (Screen-scrolling and Airpods means they can’t hear and can’t see what’s going on around them).
•Teach them how to read transport timetables and plan their journeys to ensure punctual attendance to lectures.
• Devise contingency plans in case the unexpected happens.
When my husband, an ex-police detective, was advising our daughter on safety before she left for university in the UK, she confidently assured us she’d be fine – claiming to be ‘street smart.’ His response was “No international school kid from Switzerland could ever be described as street smart!” University cities can vary greatly in terms of safety, and students need to adapt to unfamiliar environments with heightened vigilance.
4. Adjusting to Shared Living in a Multicultural Environment
University brings together students from diverse backgrounds and nationalities. While boarding school students are accustomed to communal spaces, many students will be living away from home for the first time or adjusting to the culture, currency and climate of a foreign country. Shared living entails unfamiliar surroundings, routines, habits, diets and expectations and requires some behavioural adjustment.
Quick fix: teach your student some social etiquette tips:
• Respect the privacy of others
• Never ‘borrow’ another student’s food/charger/beauty products without permission
• Clean up after using the kitchen – immediately – nobody likes a mess.
• Respect cultural and personal dietary habits
• Conflict resolution – deal with issues promptly and calmly. No sending passive- aggressive texts to the WhatsApp group!
As a parent, try role-playing some uncomfortable conversations on noise complaints or missing chargers, to prep are them to handle disputes like an adult.
5. What to Do if they Feel Lonely
Even the most social butterfly will hit a moment where they feel lonely. Freshers’ Week is exciting, with freebies and parties, but after that, reality settles in.
Quick fix:
• Remind them that making real friends takes time, and not to isolate.
• Encourage them to join clubs and societies that genuinely interest them, not just the ones handing out free pizza.
Let them know it’s OK to call home but explain that making new friendships is part of university life, and they may well find their new BFF there.
Final Thoughts
Beyond budgeting and laundry, the best thing you can give your teenager is confidence and the ability to deal with the unexpected without calling home in a panic. And if all else fails, remind them that no matter how overwhelming university gets, there’s very little that a strong cup of tea and a deep breath can’t fix!
