The Age of Anxiety: What Today’s Teens Are Telling Us — and Why It Matters

Written by: Martin Coul, OTII

If you ask a teenager to describe their world right now, the words that come back aren’t “exciting” or “full of opportunity.” More often, they’re “stressful,” “hard,” even “scary.”

A recent UK survey of more than 1,100 16- and 17-year-olds, reported in The Sunday Times (UK, August 2025), shines a light on what many parents and schools already sense: we are raising a generation carrying heavier emotional loads than ever before. Nearly 70% of girls said they had skipped school because of anxiety. Almost half of all respondents reported worrying “a lot” about exams, and many expressed fears about their future, from jobs to finances to simply fitting in.

These numbers aren’t just statistics. They’re signposts and they’re telling us something important about the world our young people are growing up in.

GROWING UP IN A PERFECT STORM

Every generation faces challenges. But today’s teens are navigating a perfect storm:

Pandemic disruption that robbed them of key years of social and educational development.

• An always-on digital culture, where social media amplifies comparison, body image concerns, and exposure to harmful content.
• Uncertain futures, with fears about exams, jobs, and financial stability weighing on them earlier than ever.

As psychologist Jonathan Haidt explains in his book The Anxious Generation, this shift amounts to a “Great Rewiring” of childhood, the decade when play moved from playgrounds to phones. The impact has been profound: less face-to-face interaction, fewer chances for free play and risk-taking, and far more exposure to pressures that chip away at confi dence, particularly for girls.

For many, these pressures add up to a confidence crisis. Girls in particular report higher levels of anxiety, lower life satisfaction, and a lack of purpose. And while boys face their own struggles, from underachievement at school to harmful messages around masculinity, the picture is clear: adolescence today looks and feels different.

THE MODEL HAS FLIPPED

For years, boys were seen as the ones most at risk of underachievement. Teachers worried they weren’t applying themselves, or that they would fall behind their female peers. Girls, by contrast, were often described as diligent, high-achieving, and more resilient.

Today, the model has flipped. While boys still face challenges, it is girls who are reporting the heavier mental health load. They are more likely to experience anxiety, to say they lack purpose, and to rate their life satisfaction at the lowest levels. Nearly 70% of girls in the UK survey said anxiety had led them to miss school, a stark reversal of past concerns.

Haidt’s research helps explain this shift: social media tends to hit girls harder. Where boys often externalise through risk-taking or aggression, girls are more likely to internalise, leading to higher levels of anxiety, depression, and self-criticism.

This shift matters. It tells us these issues aren’t static, and they can’t be understood through old assumptions. The dynamics of stress, confidence, and well-being evolve with social change and schools need to keep pace if they want to respond effectively.

WHEN “NORMAL” TEENAGE NERVES BECOME SOMETHING MORE

One of the debates sparked by the survey is whether we’ve started to pathologise normal teenage ups and downs. After all, feeling anxious before an exam or
nervous before a social event has always been part of growing up. Most of us can remember that flutter of butterflies in the stomach before standing up in class, or
the nerves that came with plucking up the courage to ask someone out.

That kind of anxiety isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s part of building confidence, testing limits, and learning resilience.

But the scale matters. When almost 7 in 10 girls are avoiding school because of anxiety, this isn’t just about everyday nerves. This is about young people missing out on education, friendships, and experiences that shape identity and resilience.

And here’s another sobering fact: according to the World Health Organization, half of all mental health conditions appear by the age of 14, yet most go undetected and untreated. That means prevention and early action during adolescence aren’t optional extras. They are essential if we want to change the trajectory for this generation. 

WHY PREVENTION MATTERS MORE THAN EVER

We know that catching problems early makes all the difference. Waiting until a young person is already in crisis is too late, for them, for their family, and for their school. Prevention isn’t just about reducing risks, it’s about building protective factors:

• Connection: Strong relationships with peers, teachers, and parents act as buffers against stress.

• Open dialogue: Normalising conversations about feelings helps young people share worries before they snowball.

• Resilience: Giving students the tools to manage setbacks, reframe challenges, and bounce back.

• Belonging: Creating inclusive school cultures where every student feels they matter. International schools in particular sit at a unique crossroads. With diverse student bodies and high

International schools in particular sit at a unique crossroads. With diverse student bodies and high expectations, they have both an opportunity and a responsibility to put well-being on an equal footing with academic achievement.

WHAT PARENTS CAN DO

Parents often ask, “How can I tell if my child’s anxiety is normal?” There’s no simple answer, but there are signs worth noticing: persistent school refusal, withdrawal from friends, big changes in sleep or appetite, or constant negative self-talk.

But beyond spotting red flags, parents can help by:

• Listening more than fixing: Teens don’t always need solutions, they need to feel heard.
• Modelling balance: How adults manage stress, screens, and relationships sends a powerful message.
• Keeping perspective: Reminding young people that exams and grades matter, but they don’t define their worth.
• Collaborating with schools: Sharing concerns early can prevent problems from escalating.

WHAT SCHOOLS CAN DO

Schools are already stretched. Teachers aren’t mental health professionals, yet they are often the first to notice when a student is struggling. That’s why systemic approaches are so important.

The most effective schools are:

• Embedding well-being into their daily culture, not bolting it on as an afterthought.
• Training staff to recognise early warning signs and respond with empathy.
• Providing structured opportunities for students to talk, reflect, and seek support.
• Measuring well-being alongside academic outcomes, so that pastoral care is informed by evidence, not assumptions.

LISTENING TO WHAT YOUNG PEOPLE ARE TELLING US

Despite the bleak headlines, one thing is clear: today’s teenagers are articulate, socially aware, and pragmatic. They know the pressures they face. They also believe in fairness, community, and having their voices heard.

Our job, as parents, educators, and policymakers, is to listen to them. To create environments where they don’t just survive adolescence, but learn, grow, and discover who they are with confidence intact.

MOVING FROM AWARENESS TO ACTION

The conversation about youth mental health has never been louder. But awareness alone isn’t enough. Schools and parents need practical ways to spot risks early, support young people proactively, and measure whether efforts are working.

That’s where partners like OTII® can help. By capturing anonymous, evidence-based insights into student well-being, staff well-being, and even the mental health literacy of parents, schools can move beyond assumptions to see what’s really happening beneath the surface. It’s not about labelling or pathologising teens, it’s about giving schools and families the data they need to act early, target support, and prevent problems before they become crises.

Because the truth is, teenagers don’t need us to fix everything. They need us to notice, to listen, and to build the conditions where confidence can grow again.