Having a Plan B: A Guide for Parents
By Philippa Dobrée-Carey
If your child wants to drop out of school or skip university, it’s important to listen to their reasons and approach the situation with an open mind. While it may be disappointing, helping them find the best path for them, and not imposing your own goals, is key. Here’s how to navigate this challenging scenario and create an effective backup plan.
Understanding Your Child’s Perspective
Before reacting, take time to listen and understand why they want to hit the pause button on their education. Are they struggling to study effectively? Feel unmotivated? Regret their academic choices? Or do they have a career goal that doesn’t require a university degree? Knowing their motivation will help you to guide them effectively.
Let’s look at a few different scenarios:
1. Common Struggles and Solutions
Every child learns differently. Some are organised, others leave tasks to the last minute or learn at a slower pace. Finding the right study method, such as Pomodoro, could help enormously.
Explore if attention deficit disorder (ADD) is the issue; students who are medically diagnosed with ADD may be eligible for extra time during exams or laptop use instead of handwriting papers, etc.
Consider hiring a tutor – not for a specific subject but to teach organisation skills. A structured approach can help your child stay on track. Agree to a trial period of, say, 3 months, and then reassess progress and next steps together.
2. When It’s Time to Change Course
When a student has chosen their options, they may have been influenced by peers, their favourite teacher at the time, or a passion for a subject that has since faded. It’s not the end of the world! Ask the school about switching to a subject your child enjoys. There may be requirements like previous grades or the ability to catch up with the rest of the class, but it’s worth exploring.
3. Exploring Alternative Educational Paths
Consider alternative options such as:
• Suspending studies temporarily
• Repeating a year if they’ve struggled with the coursework
• Transferring to another course or institution
• Taking a year off to reassess their goals
University isn’t for everyone
If university feels overwhelming due to a reluctance to leave home, financial concerns, or other reasons, consider these other routes:
Gap Year
A well-planned gap year can provide valuable life experience, clarify career goals, and even strengthen university applications. Encourage your child to use this time productively, by volunteering for a humanitarian organisation or gaining work experience.
Apprenticeships
Apprenticeships combine work with study, allowing your child to ‘earn while they learn’. These are available in many fields, from traditional (and much-needed) trades to emerging technologies.
Vocational Qualifications
BTECs and NVQs offer practical courses that lead to specific careers. These qualifications are recognised by employers and can also provide a route to university later on.
Supporting Your Child’s Decision to Take a Different Path
If your child is adamant about leaving education, it’s important to put a solid plan in place and seek the right support before pulling the plug.
Here’s how you can help:
• Offer guidance, not pressure: Provide information and advice, but let your child make the final decision.
• Consult professionals: Career advisers, tutors and heads of year can give impartial advice without getting emotionally involved.
• Stay flexible: Be prepared to adjust plans as your child’s interests and goals evolve.
• Encourage work experience: This will help your child explore potential careers while building valuable skills and their CV.
• Focus on skills development: Whatever path they choose, stress the importance of developing transferable skills.
Keeping an Open Mind About the Future
Dropping out doesn’t mean the end of education. And success doesn’t always follow a straight line. Just look at Adele and Robbie Williams, who recently returned to study, even after successful music careers! There are always alternative routes for learning and career development.
Remember that many successful people have taken unconventional routes to achieve their goals: Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, and Richard Branson. I’m sure their parents faced the same dilemma!
By approaching this challenge with an open mind, careful planning and a focus on your child’s long-term wellbeing and success, you can help your child navigate this important decision and find a path that meets their unique needs and aspirations.
