Written by Richard Crawshaw

A GROWING GLOBAL CONCERN

Educational systems emphasise that regular attendance is vital for learning, wellbeing, confidence, and future opportunities. While this is generally true, for a growing number of young people school has become somewhere that feels overwhelming, unsafe, or disconnected from their needs and identity. School avoidance is not new, but its scale has shifted dramatically. UNESCO reported that in 2023, a staggering 272 million children and young people globally were out of school despite having access to education, and that number continued to rise throughout 2024 and also 2025 in many developed countries. This includes young people who are either partially attending or not attending at all. The problem is no longer isolated, it is systemic.

THERE IS A PATH FORWARD, YOU ARE NOT ALONE

After two decades supporting children who can’t face school, I’ve learned something
critical: while every family’s situation is unique, change is possible. There are evidence-based strategies that help young people return to learning, regain confidence, and rebuild their sense of purpose.

When a child refuses or avoids school, the impact ripples through the entire system, parents, siblings, schools, and most importantly, the young person navigating emotional distress. Adults often find it confusing and heartbreaking: we want the best for our children, yet the place we believe is “good” for them feels, to them, impossible to step into.

PAUSE, LISTEN, AND TAKE IT SERIOUSLY

When children communicate that they don’t want to go to school, there are often many layers behind that statement. The reasons can be shaped by academic pressure, bullying, social anxiety, major life transitions, trauma, or sensory and cognitive differences particularly for neurodiverse learners.

The first step for parents is simple but powerful: stop and listen. Not to react, not to convince, but to understand. Seeking help from a reengagement specialist can be a huge help to support this conversation and make a positive change.

There are tools that help young people communicate emotions they may not have
the words for, including student stress investigation cards, drawing activities, playbased inquiry, or reflective conversations prompted by strengths based resources.

These approaches remove pressure and allow children to express their worries without confrontation. Once the source of stress is better understood, the journey toward solutions becomes clearer. It is rarely quick, and it requires patience, but clarity often reduces fear and creates room for hope.

“The first step for parents is simple but powerful: stop and listen. Not to react, not to convince, but to understand.”

CASE STUDY: FROM LONG-TERM NON-ATTENDANCE TO FULL-TIME RETURN

OUTCOME

In just three months, Alice, an 11 year-old who had not attended school for nearly a year and rarely left the house, returned to school full time. Her anxiety reduced, her confidence improved, and her sense of belonging was restored. Her family described the process as “supportive and transformative, restoring stability and optimism at
home.”

INITIAL PRESENTATION

After relocating countries and leaving friends behind, Alice had disengaged from learning and lost motivation to attend school in person. Her parents worried about academic decline and, more urgently, her mental health as she became increasingly withdrawn.

Communication with the school had dwindled, and despite good intentions, efforts to re-engage her had been unsuccessful. Her parents wanted her to rebuild friendships, rediscover happiness, and feel safe enough to return.

INTERVENTION APPROACH

Alice engaged in five one-hour virtual sessions focusing on rapport building, character strengths, interest-based activities, and reflective conversations about what she would need in place to feel comfortable attending again. Stress investigation tools helped identify the key triggers behind her avoidance, and collaboratively, a gradual return
plan was developed.

The plan was reviewed twice weekly and linked to personal goals that Alice chose. Accountability was shared between Alice, her family, and the school. Within four weeks her attendance increased, new friendships developed, and her sense of happiness improved significantly.

FOCUS ON ENGAGEMENT NOT JUST ATTENDANCE

Attendance is a number. Engagement is the lived experience. A child who sits in a classroom feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or misunderstood is not thriving. The anxiety that these young people are feeling is very real and must be acknowledged and
respected.

The demand of having to go to school can be changed into a routine of going to school once addressed properly, which sometimes doesn’t as long as you may think, even over a matter of weeks in some cases. When curiosity, trust, and relationship building guide the process, attendance often improves naturally because the young person feels ready, not forced. If they can be allowed to regulate themselves, then they will be able to articulate their stress, and then you can do something to support this.

Some cases have meant that going to school has been taken off the agenda for a matter of weeks / months so that time can be allocated to literally work it out. It can be such a release for young people and parents not to have that daily struggle for a while, take a breath, reset, then have a new and agreed approach together.

REBUILDING A SENSE OF BELONGING

Reconnection to learning often begins outside the traditional classroom through ways like tutoring, wellbeing programs, occupational therapy, strengths-focused coaching, or physically active support with social workers or youth mentors.

Belonging is not just attendance. It is the felt experience of being known, valued, and
missed when not there.

For students with irregular attendance, belonging can slowly erode. Consistency, safe relationships, and meaningful roles rebuild it. When children believe they matter in a community, school becomes a place they can trust again rather than endure.

THE POWER OF PEER CONNECTION

Relationships are one of the strongest motivators for school attendance. Yet when
a child has been absent or alone, social interactions can become a major source of
worry.

Rebuilding confidence often requires scaffolding connecting first with one trusted
peer, participating in low-pressure activities, or engaging socially without the expectation of immediate classroom participation.

Feeling socially included shapes identity, increases motivation, and supports
emotional safety. The right educator at your school or support person can make a
significant difference in this space.

School Avoidance: There is a way to change this and it may be easier than you think